what is your parents' legacy?

I'm 55 years old, and so often I hear myself speak something, or see something in the mirror, that makes me think: You're becoming your mother!  I love my mother, but most of the time, that's not a good thing.  I guess I should concentrate more on the positives of my mother's legacy (like: hard work, family devotion, and devotion to friends) .

Today I was typing a message on my computer's keyboard and happened to glance down at my hands (I learned touch-typing in 9th grade - long before personal computers were invented - but sometimes I look at the keyboard when I'm reaching for a thought or a word or whatever), and was horrified by what I saw there.  These are not pretty hands, even now that they're skinnier, because of all these - I don't know what they are - sinews? and prominent, ropy veins.  Some 16-17 years ago, my hand was photographed in a shot for a mail-order catalog I worked for.  No one else would volunteer for this shot, and we couldn't afford to pay a model.  No wonder we never sold much of that product.  Anyway, after some reflection today, I realized that I have my father's hands.

I have some bad, bad memories of my father's hands (night-time visits to my bedroom when I was 8 yrs old), but on the whole, I'm glad to have this reminder of him.  He used his hands for good things - writing down all his scientific theories, using his slide-rule (long, long before pocket calculators were invented), planting flowers, petting our dogs.  One of my favorite memories of my father's hands is his "patting" or "calm down" motion, which he would make whenever a family member became excited, obnoxious, or whatever.  My step-brother was crazy (oh, lucky me, a crazy brother AND step-brother) and I can remember him ranting and raving about how President Reagan ruined his sex-life (not sure exactly how that worked) and Dad doing the "calm down" thing with his hands while my stepmother ran around the room offering cake.  Now that I think of it, I'd have to say that the most common position for Dad's hands was to shade his eyes - even indoors.  It was his signal to us that he was thinking - and his thinking was more important than anything.

So, what is your parents' legacy to you?

Jean

Jean, I'll be back. Have to think on this one a while. You painted some vivid picture and stirred some memories, but I want to let them build a bit before trying to paint a picture for you. Thank you for starting this thread. I'm sure it will bring forth some interesting conversation and some memories from long ago.

In the looks department, I was always told that my dad could have spit me out of his mouth, because I didn't look anything like my mother. 

But upon reflection I guess I got the color of my hair and eyes from my mother, both brown.  I got my mom's good teeth (thank goodness, dad's were terrible), dad's slow metabolism (mom can't keep weight on her!), Dad and Mom both loved people around them (they had 6 kids!) so I guess I get that from them. Dad's "Never met a stranger" I seem to have.  Hmmm, Mom's nervous stomach, diviticulitis. Oh yeah, Mom's mechanical ability (Dad had none!) and other that that I guess I am just a combination package. 

"I was always told that my dad could have spit me out of his mouth"

LOL!  My mom always said that I was a very "legitimate looking" child.  Nowadays, nobody cares much about your parentage, but when I was a kid, having married parents mattered a lot.

Jean

My parents both lived a long life. My Mom was 88 and my Dad was 91 when they passed.  Hard working, honest farmers most of their lives but when we moved "into town" my Dad went to work for the Sherif's Dept and also was a bouncer at local clubs and taverns.  When the oil discovery came in the early 50's he went to work in the oil industry and worked there until retiring at age 70.  He was a tall man and Mom was fairly tall and that is where my brothers and I got our height.  I am considered one of the short ones of all my cousins and I am 5'7".
I learned how to bake home made breads, rolls, pastries from my mother and to be a good wife, mother and now a grand mother.  Family has always been important in all of my Dad's and my Mom's families and we are still very close. (The Uncles and Aunts that are left).
We were never rich folk money wise but rich in the fact that we had each other and many, many good friends.  The only thing that I really havaen't followed was the Norwegian food that was both parents' heritage.  I am married to a wonderful man who is German/Lebanese and I cook all his favorites for him and prefer that type of food myself (Now not in such large quantities..  :-)  The area I live in is primarily Scandinavian.  We are a hearty sort and love much!
Thank you Jean for starting this thread, I look forward to reading others posts.

Sandy

I started hearing my  mothers voice coming out of my mouth after i had kids. I have been able to maintain a very close relationship with my kids (now grown) like my  mother has. She has always been so loving and accepting. I learned that from her. My mom is very goal oriented which I also seem to have inherited. That is probably a learned behavior but it is a good one. Unfortunately I also got her wide hips and big breasts.  One thing I remember about my Mom is how she always played with us. All the way into my early teens, I had parties and my mom was always there. The other kids wanted her to stay and talk with us. She was always so much fun. She also sorta picked up extra kids and grandkids. A friend of mine from junior high who I don't even see anylonger had two kids. Their own grandparents did not pay them much attention. My mom acted like a grandma to them. They still call her and call her Grandma. She sees them at church all the time too. I think I learned truly caring for people from her.
From my dad, I get my temper and impatience with stupidity. Oops, it isn't stupidity. Just people who think differently than I do. I am working on that. I look like my dad but now that I am getting older I notice more of my mom in me. My hair is graying the way hers has. I am most like my paternal grandmother. I love to sew, I collect cookbooks and like to cook. I have a huge problem with my weight, like she did. When she died I got all of her old material and cookbooks.
My dad doesn't talk much and I don't think he has ever said he loves me. I know he loves me and he does things to show that all the time. I have made sure to say I love you to the people who are important to me. I am pragmatic like my dad and very logical.
Overall, I think the most important legacy from both of my parents was a sense of family, love and service to the community. I have been blessed.

a very interesting thread, jean...however, i am not able to speak fully on this-at least not right now....

i was born out of wedlock and given up for adoption at birth-i have found both of my birth parents (mother in 2000, father in 2001) and i see "things" from each side...as well as back a generation or so...however...some of this is painful to try to put into words right now--i know, not your intent !

my adopted mother had something she would say to me each nite at the dinner table in her alcoholic stupor and it still haunts me...it is about my mother and my own worth...

too much said already-
should delete but won't--

thank you, tho,  for the thread!

Oh Margo - your words just break my heart.  I know that I can't give you a better childhood, but here's a huge hug for you. 
Margaret

Wow this is an interesting thread. See my mother has been dead for 44 years. Yes I lost her at the tender age of 10. She died 3 days after my 10th birthday....That would be December 23rd.
I dont remember her legacy at all or maybe one glimps of it.
I remember she loved to make rocky road candy and give it away as presants. I also remember she was always sick and in the hospital in Chicago.
I remember she had beautiful strawberry blond hair, long skinny legs, and she was rather tall.
It is going to be very hard for me to go into surgery on the 23rd for my thyroid. I guess I just have to put my big girl panty's on and deal with it.
 I have my mom's blue eyes and terrible vision!!!!!
My father died 12 years ago. He was fun loving but never around. I think he told me he loved me once when Lizzy was born.
My step mother on the other hand was a different story.
I dont have a legacy to stand on cause I was never shown anything. I had to bring myself up in this world.
Carla

 Ohhhh   what a fun thread this is.

I'm seeing traits of my mother in me more and more.  Little gestures, comments, and attitudes. I have been blessed with a wonderful Mom.

 She is referred to at times as "Saint Lorraine".   She is a very loving person, accepting of others and non critical.  I learned to respect all race color and creeds from her.  I also have learned what it is like to care for those less fortunate as myself and give to charities as they help others.   

 Like most women of her generation she taught us a good work ethic....  "if you are going to do it..... do it right".  And keep things clean, neat and tidy.

Many are going to miss Mom when she goes.. she has many good years left though.

My father... well, let's just say I inherited a nasty temper from them.   I try not to identify with his side to much.

Millie